just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
