Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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