Christians are straight up FREAKS
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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