I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
