THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
