matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
wow bdsm is so cute
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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