Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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