i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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