Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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