Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
