Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
