its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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