**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Randomize