That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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