Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
