It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
