jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
