Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
