I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
