come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
