He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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