chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
