dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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