Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
only you would photoshop your dick
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
