and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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