Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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