im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
