I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
