Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
