my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
