dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
