i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
