normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Congratulations! We have a period
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
