i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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