if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize