The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
