Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
