He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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