tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
