Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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