as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
she smelled like a LAN party
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
