Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I think my fart just growled at me.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Randomize
