The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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