I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
