Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm šš»š
We are so blessed
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someoneās about to die or youāre being a hoe.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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