Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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