discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
The Olympian is in my bed
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