i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
