She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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