If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
