she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
