Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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