I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
