I look better un-naked...
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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