I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
