bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
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