i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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