So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
